What made us
Daniela Deuser lost her son Colin Joshua in 2008 by early birth. He died a few hours after he was born.
He still was very tiny, so his parents didn´t have anything to get him dressed. There were no clothes. The baby clothes they bought were overseized. Hospital couldn´t really help out, just giving them a cap from the neonatology.
This cap didn´t dress the little boy. In a jiffy they found a solution by getting a doll dress from the little boy´s grandparents. This dress was transparent and crafted with a lot of ruching. So it was nothing you would wish for your deceased child. The fact his son had to be buried more or less naked never got out of their mind afterwards.
This problem was talked through on the internet plattform “Schmetterlingskinder” by Frauenworte e.V., an association helping families in situations like grief, infertility and more.
Daniela Deuser had to learn that many other bereaved parents made the same experience and all of them still suffered from it.
So she had the idea to change this fact, to make some clothing for the little ones and offer it to hospitals at no charge.
There also was Michaela Muno, she lost her little daugther Angelina Joel during 2005, she had to give a still birth to her. The behaviour in the hospital was very undignified and cold. Her daugther had been brought to her lying in a kind of petri dish. Naked, even without a blanket or towel. She had to give birth to her all alone before, just with the help of her husband, because she lay in an ordinary hospital bed far away from the delivery room.
Michael Muno got involved with a great passion, because she wanted things to change.
Together Daniela Deuser and Michaela Muno created a project with a successful structure, based upon the association “Frauenworte e.V.”. It was named “Klinikaktion der Schmetterlingskinder” (means “hospital initiative of butterflykids”, because it found its beginning at the platform of “butterflykids” and now was a part of Project Butterflykids itself.
They talked about the problem and their need at several platforms for handcrafting, knitting, sewing, crotching and so on. Quickly the subject found open ears in many handcrafting circles. There were a lot of women - not even affected by the same fate - declaring they can´t accept living in a modern country like ours and realising such circumstances were reality. They wanted to change something for parents and children, because they had to suffer from such a great pain, it shouldn´t been raised by undignified behaviour. They wanted the children to be treatened as human beings - with dignity.
During the first year the project developed to a national project. We cared for and delivered more than 30 hospitals. The content of the sets was edited with professionals.
Meanwhile hospitals and professionals started a new way of thinking. Many midwifes told us they sensed the farewell sets as very helpful, not just for parents and child, form themselves as well. Because now they had “something in their hands” - something to do. Something concrete.
Dressing the little babies made clear they really are human beings. And that causes another understanding of the “size” their loss means to their parents. The dignified farewell helped parents to gather precious memories and remembrance, impressions that have to stay enough a whole, long lifetime. This helps a little to get along with this fate. They are able to integrate this loss into their life - after some month or years.
“Aktion Schmetterlingskinder” is proud of the way things changed. But there´s still a lot, a lot to do.
Still there are a lot of hospitals not using our sets, because they think it´s “senseless” to create a nice farewell for “such objects”. In more than 80% of german hospitals it´s a usual method that women are NOT ALLOWED to give birth to their children in a delivery room. Still.
Still a lot of parents - too much! pretty too much! - leave hospital with a great amound of traumatizing and hard experiences. The most could have been prevented by a proper behaviour and care.
We thank all people helped us to get things in such a good movement. But we have to fight for the rights of our little ones - now more than ever. We have to fight for the most essential human right: dignity. We have to fight for love and attention that should be obligate for such tiny, little souls.
- Michaela Muno, because the project could never have grown without her. She had to leave the project because of private reasons in 2010.
- Petra Bingen for 3 years of supporting the project team. She had to leave the project because of private reasons in 2013.
- Birgit Zart, because she motivated us to transform an idea into a vision and later on into reality.
- Christine Rosenwald, in remembrance of a great, wonderful women, going much too soon. As a member of the management she always worked a lot to get this thing going. We miss her dearly.
- Monika Liebner, our management women. Always there for us, beside job and family. .
- Simone Finck for her management support.
- Heinke Zart for her gently support of all bereaved and the management.
- Bettina Hülsmann, voice and head of our support hotline, always there for everyone.
- Our families, always supporting us.
. Every professional being open for this subject and helping parents to get through an unimaginable hard time in life.
- All funeral parlours handling this subject gently and wisely.
- All acting as helping souls by listening, supporting and moving - in every association all over the world.
- And OF COURSE our volunteers and donaters.